A poem of my experience

I walked in,

And you stepped towards me
Abandoning your companion.

As you stood there
Waiting, and watching me

My heart leapt to see you
Feeling you focusing on me
Noticing me, Waiting for me.
I stood there awkwardly
Wanting to approach
Not wanting to scare you off
Not wanting to experience rejection

Not knowing who should make the first move.
Patiently you watched and waited.

I took a step forward
But the fear in my head
Spoke to me
And I hesitated
And you turned your back.
Confused I stood there helplessly
And you walked off to get something to eat
Feigning  interest in the food
But it was empty
And my heart spoke to me
And I felt the emptiness
Of all the things I do
To distract me from the wanting,
To  connect with you.
And you heard my truth
And you turned my way
And my heart leapt
The voice in my head now silent
Then you walked towards me
And the more I felt my truth
The closer you came
And you sat down beside me
That we may commune.
But before long
Your legs began to twitch
And I did not see
You were my mirror
The voice in my head had returned
And the fear was telling me to flee.
A deep breath and I stilled my mind
And you got really comfortable
And I beside you.
The calm washed over me
And we breathed together
In the stillness of my heart.

After a time you stood
But I knew
This time you had no intention of leaving
And you leaned over me
And I stayed very still
Small and vulnerable
In the presence of your size and strength.
This time I knew
I had no intention of fleeing
And I basked in your love
As you breathed new life into me.
The warmth and rhythm of your breath overhead
Breathing out the fear
Breathing in trust
Allowing you to heal me
Allowing myself to be healed
Surrendering to that which I feared most.

By day’s end
I felt I could stay with you forever.

~ G

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