One of my teachers recently explained that the ability to be in a healthy state of vulnerability will be an essential ‘skill’ for us to navigate the coming times and changes ahead.
However, in apparent contradiction, all the definitions on vulnerability that I found give this emotion a bad rap:
“Vulnerability refers to the inability to withstand the effects of a hostile environment.”
“Susceptible to physical or emotional injury.”
Synonyms: weakness, defenselessness, helplessness, openness, exposure, liability
According to Linda Kohanov, author of the Tao of Equus, “vulnerability marks the point at which an old coping strategy, behaviour pattern or perception of the world is being challenged – or a previously repressed part of the self is being revealed.”
In any aspect of our lives – whether in business or personal, the value of being vulnerable is that it has the potential to open us up to new ways of being and acting.
In fact, in business today – more than any other time in history, vulnerability might be the greatest indicator of success. We are seeing systems and structures collapsing – in all sectors: finance, economy, employment, the media, governments … Those who hold tightly to the ‘old’ ways of thinking and behaving, including their beliefs – attempting to prop up the crumbling systems and structures are facing a great deal of resistance as no amount of effort will restore the old ways. When we are not open to change and the possibilities it presents, we cannot be creative with what might be emerging, and opportunities are missed. Our resistance will be our downfall.
On a personal level, feeling vulnerable is to be open and transparent. When we are being open, we are being congruent (where our outer expression matches our inner thoughts and feelings) and we enable others to do the same. The opposite – being closed and protective creates a sense of separateness, competition, and lack of trust. We cannot create peace within ourselves, with others, or on the planet with this stance.
On a spiritual level, feeling vulnerable is necessary for our evolution: evolution brings us to a new and expanded state of awareness where we must let false beliefs dissolve into the nothingness that they are. Perhaps the scary part of letting go of our beliefs is discovering who we might be without them.
Stepping into the zone of uncertainty
A local horse expert uses three embedded circles to illustrate our learning zones: the inner circle is the comfort zone – where little learning and creativity happens, the middle circle is the zone of uncertainty where we are vulnerable and the most learning and creativity happens, and the outer circle is the “Oh sh*t” zone where we are in fight, flight or freeze modes and no learning or creativity can take place.
Our challenge is to learn to move in the zone of uncertainty, while using all our resources to be in the flow of change with discernment.
According to Kohanov, the message behind the emotion of vulnerability is: “something significant is about to change or be revealed.” Questions we can ask ourselves to develop discernment are: “What is the threat?” “What action must I take to move to a position of safety?”
The art of being vulnerable
Being vulnerable and staying safe on all levels requires discernment. We have to engage all our resources to make wise, conscious choices. We need to bring all of our intelligences – body, emotions, and spirit as well as the mind into balance and not rely just on the mind. As our bodies are highly refined receivers / transmitters and our emotions carry information necessary to make any kind of decision, we must learn to give them as much voice as our mind.
Meditation allows the mind to settle. When the mind is still, an expanded awareness comes forth. The voices of our bodies and emotions can be heard and our inner knowing has a chance to reveal its wisdom.
Mindfulness practices also give us the necessary skills to be discerning and present. It creates the gap between stimulus and response.
These practices help us to be vulnerable in a healthy, conscious way so that we may be in the zone of uncertainty and move with the shifting times with ease and grace.