It’s human nature to greet someone and want them to like you.  In our programs I always ask participants to greet the horses, and often they tell me the horses were indifferent, or ignored them, or didn’t like them.  And sometimes I ask, “what expectations did you have?”  Usually the answer is something like, “I wanted the horse to like me.”  Loosely translated, this is saying “what can you give me,” or “what can I get or take from you?”

When we want something from someone, we energetically broadcast that wanting.  It has the quality of lack and neediness, and others sense it – horses and humans. In our last Waterhole Gathering, I invited the group to greet the horses with a different perspective:  “what can I give to you?” I suggested that the group offer acceptance, peace, gratitude and love to the horses as they greeted them.

What happened next was amazing: twenty people walking around greeting twelve horses – who were all at liberty.  The horses gradually closed in on the group of people, and soaked up the ‘giving’ energy.  Horses and humans were not separate – they looked like they all belonged together.  The stillness and calm that prevailed was so powerful, that no one wanted it to end.

If I were to interpret the horses’ responses, I’d say that they felt safe, accepted, and acknowledged so they wanted to be closer.  It seems that in giving, we are receiving – as the horses showed us by the way they responded to the group.

According to Dr. Marshall Rosenberg, author of Non Violent Communication, the greatest gift we can give to another is the gift of being heard, seen, and known.  This is what horses do naturally.  They see beyond our masks and stories to the being inside.  We feel naked in their presence, and at the same time we feel validated and liberated.  We can drop all the walls and layers and simply just be.

We finished by reflecting on how this approach could change the quality of our human relationships – with our families, our spouses, our colleagues, our clients, our communities…  Why not give it a go, and see how it might change your relationships?