How often do we make snap judgements about situations or others and find out later that we were way off the mark?

I would like to share the lesson I was reminded of recently to stay open and not allow past experience, subconscious beliefs and assumptions to override what I am sensing.  In other words, switch off the automatic pilot and start navigating with all your senses and abilities.

Recently, Neil and Joanne asked to have a ‘horse experience’ like they had seen on the TV documentary, Horse Power, hosted by Martin Clunes.*  I observed them to be soft spoken, considerate of each other, with a high regard for nature, so I was expecting the horses to reflect my observations. (LOL)

It was mid afternoon with full sun and 30 degrees, so the three mares and one gelding waiting for us were standing very still until Neil and Joanne stepped into the horses’ space.

Immediately, Mac, the gelding began pacing rapidly – while all the other horses remained still.  His pacing was relentless and seemed aimless as he darted in different directions.  It was like he did not have an ‘off button.’  He approached each of the mares disturbing their stillness, and they chased him away.  He began to pace between the humans – brushing against Neil as he sped past.

When Joanne chose to work with one of the mares in the round yard, I slipped into ‘automatic pilot’ (making assumptions based on previous experience, subconscious beliefs etc. without questioning observations).  I decided that Mac was being difficult, and getting dangerous with his ‘antics,’ so I  moved him to the adjacent paddock – where I thought he would calm down as he had more space, plenty of grass to graze on, and other horses to ‘talk to.’   Not so.  It seemed the further away he was the more restless he became. He began galloping around in the paddock – with no apparent purpose, and his body was a lather of sweat.

After the session in the round yard with Joanne, I opened the gate for Mac to come back in with us and he went straight to the round yard gate, before Neil said he wanted to work with Mac.

I finally accepted that Mac was responding to something happening with Neil and Joanne, and asked what or who is this restless in their lives?  Then they told me their son, William had ADHD, and was extremely restless, unable to work, and that he was still in Europe – they had migrated to Australia. William was also very attached to, and dependent on Neil.

Neil joined Mac inside the round yard, and stood about 2 meters off the rail.  Mac continued to pace aimlessly around the space, walking straight up to Neil and away again for what seemed an eternity. Finally Neil walked across the round yard and stopped at the far rail.  Mac stopped pacing, watched Neil, yawned, lowered his head, calmly followed him, and stopped in front of Neil – relaxed and still.

After a few moments Neil walked off and Mac followed quietly behind.  Several minutes later, Neil joined me at the rail where I was standing with Joanne.  I asked Neil what happened.  He said that rather than standing around aimlessly he decided to take some action and walk away.  This is when Mac followed him.  While we were talking at the rail, Neil took his focus off Mac, and Mac started to become restless again.  Neil re-joined Mac, but this time instead of quietly following Neil, Mac was pushing him.

Summarising the debrief, Neil and Joanne were thinking about bringing their son to Australia, and seeing Mac so distressed in the paddock convinced them to bring William out to Australia.  Neil’s experience in the round yard helped him see that William needs to be given focus and direct his energy, but he can be draining if Neil doesn’t set boundaries.

So back to my lesson:  none of this would have happened if I had continued to assume that Mac was just being a nuisance for the sake of it.  Although the signs were overt, for a while I was making assumptions about Mac’s behaviour and not really listening to what he had to say.

I was very fortunate that I caught myself in that situation, and it has had me reflecting on what other situations do I find myself making assumptions and not utilizing my senses and capabilities fully to receive more accurate information.